My 2020 Story

A different life

This week – had I not chosen a different path – would have been my 33rd Wedding Anniversary. 33 years ago! – a whole lifetime.

I got married at 23 after 6 months of dating the man. 8 years and 2 children later we divorced.

Do you ever look back at your life – or lives as I now like to think of the many different stages of my life – and wonder what might have happened if…. Would I be the same person I am now? (no) – would I be happy? (don’t know).

It’s true to say I wouldn’t have had 2 more children, I wouldn’t have had the experiences I had (some good, some bad) and my life at 56 (now) would undoubtedly be very different to the current reality. I even wonder if all possible outcomes actually exist – a sort of ever – expanding scenario of endless possibilities with each outcome following its path. I guess if that were true this current consciousness would only be able to inhabit one scenario anyway.

So it is what it is. A wedding anniversary that was never meant to be.

Letting go

As the moon passed it’s full stage last week we are in the waning moon phase – the bit where we ‘let go’ of things which no longer serve.

This seems very appropriate for the circumstances we now find ourselves in.

The ‘normal’ which existed only a month ago seems a distant memory – and we can only speculate when this current phase will give way to a new normal.

Like every life event that comes our way we do have a choice about how we respond. And although it might seem there are few choices if you allow fear to be your guide, you do have a choice about how you respond as things change over the coming weeks.

It seems to me that now is a good time to be ‘letting go’ of those things that no longer serve us – undertaking a ‘declutter’ or a spring clean seems very much the theme of the moment. Do you agree?

confused.com

A bank holiday weekend throws us into confusion at the best of times, but with this one coming mid-lockdown I’m feeling even more confused!

I gave myself a break from teaching yoga over the Easter weekend for a couple of reasons

Firstly getting up for 8am is Ok when you have to organise the teenager for schoolwork, but with nothing going on it seems a lot of effort

Secondly I was feeling a bit short of positive energy to motivate and inspire – so I decided to indulge in some self-care.

As the days and weeks go by with the days rolling into each other it’s becoming harder to pinpoint which day what event happened. Not that life in lockdown is filled with events of course.

From the start I had in mind that routine was to be my friend – having a daily and weekly routine where there is a purpose and ‘things to do’ for every day: including yoga and exercise has always served me well.

With the Easter weekend behind us and the added confusion of Tuesday feeling like Monday – I’m intending to get back in the swing of my routine. 8am yoga anyone?

Part of the problem

It seems like some people are just always out to bend the rules – just a little – does it really matter? Well yes, it does! The line has to be drawn somewhere and we all have to stick by it – otherwise the line will continue to shuffle just a little in our own heads – until it’ s no longer anywhere near the original rules.

So the rules are – stay at home. Unless you have to

Go for essential food items (as infrequently as possible)

Take up to one our of exercise

Go to work as an essential worker

Help a vunerable person

And if you go out stay at least 2m away from others.

The line has shuffled right outside my door! – Across the road my neighbour is on his front door step, beer in hand. His girlfriend is visiting and is standing on the drive. The nextdoor neighbours are on their drive. And on the pavement the family from across the road from them have placed their garden chairs, wine in hand and kids running around.

I feel they may well be part of the problem. Let’s get this sorted please people!

What do you hope for?

I attended an online network meeting yesterday in which we discussed what we hoped might be the outcome of this period of lockdown. Whilst most of the ladies on the call were feeling anxious about the safety of family members they all hoped that in the end something positive would emerge.

Here are some examples:

All will end well
A positive outcome from inner reflection
Safety for my family
Acceptance and Uplifted
It will be alright in the end and if it’s not alright it’s not the end
Be brave be strong be free

My hope is that as time passes each of us will slow down and reflect on our inner self – who are we, what are our strengths and how can we improve our contribution in this world?

What do you hope will come of all this?

Recipe revisited

I’ve been getting a selection of fruit and veg from a local farm shop lately. The delivery consists of a fairly basic set of contents – no fancy stuff at all. The sort of food that’s in season and fresh.

This is good! In fact if there’s one thing that this period of isolation has taught me (in truth there are many things – but that’s another story), it’s that you have to use what you have. And in all fairness I’m very fortunate to have a plentiful supply of fruit and veg!

So out with the recipe books that have been lurking in the back of the shelves for years. I love mushrooms – and would regularly buy them as an addition to meals. Yesterday I dug deep into my 1980’s Cranks recipe book and revisited this mushroom based meal which was one of my favourites way back then.

Mushroom stroganoff with plain boiled rice. I’ve not managed to convert either the son or the boyfriend to such delights – but I loved it!

Enjoying the sunshine

Stop – slow down and smell the roses! Even having retired from dentistry I’ve found it all too easy to carry on rushing here and there. This lockdown and having to stay in our homes and gardens has forced me to slow right down.

I still have routine – I’m teaching some yoga online every day and doing the home workouts offered by our Crossfit gym. But I have a whole lot more time.

Time to feel grateful that I live in a home with a spacious garden, that I’m spending this period of isolation with my partner and my son – and time to finally start on some of those online course I’ve signed up for over the years.

On an afternoon like this one – time to enjoy some spring sunshine in a suntrap in the garden. Taking every moment as it comes and feeling content.

Botox detox

I asked the question in a previous blog ‘Is letting you hair grow grey a matter of lack of self-care – or an act of confidence and rebellion?’ – as it turns out, due to recent events it seems its more a question of do you dare to colour it yourself and is hair dye an essential shopping requirement?

Whilst lashes and nails also require regular salon visits (how will we cope?!) those addicted to their regular toxin and filler top-up are also about to run into issues.

As the Botox wears off you can expect the fine lines and expression lines to return – maybe not as deep as they were before the toxin, but return they will. You’ll be able to frown and move your eyebrows – maybe for the first time in a while!

As the filler approaches the time it naturally degrades the support and plumping it offered the face will fade away. Returning to your natural looks.

Hopefully the delay won’t be too long before our nurses and doctors return from the front line back into their cosmetic practices. Like the queue for the hairdressers they will be in demand I’m sure.

In the meantime – embrace the opportunity for a Botox detox – maybe you might even learn to love what you see.

4 years later

4 years ago this week I sold my dental practice. I am happy to be no longer dentisting – but frankly, never so happy as now. Dental practices the country (and likely the world) – over are closed. Dentistry is a stressful occupation – but I’m thinking this recent and current period must be the most stressful ever.

Dental practices should have closed down many weeks before they did, I think; as dentists, their staff and their patients must have been in the front-line for possible virus transmission for the weeks leading up to lockdown.

Dentists are often seen as slightly on the outside of the NHS, frequently ignored or sidelined when it comes to overall NHS policy and seen by the public in an unsympathetic light. It’s still unclear how they are to deal with the dental pains and other emergencies which will inevitable arise over the lockdown period – and how this dilemma will be greeted by the sufferers and at some point in the future by the lawyers and dental claims companies.

I hope when all this is over that not too many practice owners loose their businesses, that not too many dental personal are already infected – and that the public will finally have some appreciation of dentists. No more the ‘I hate dentists’ comments please.

Techno-stress

Lockdown continues and the steep techno-learning curve travels at a pace.

Zoom – I’m getting there – though there are many features I haven’t mastered. My next challenge is the payment side of things.

In my head I wanted to start classes and become proficient before asking for money for the services. I debated not asking for money for the services – after all there are benefits for me in providing lessons: seeing people regularly, feeling of use and having a routine and purpose.

To be fair to all I have today struggled with the technical aspect of getting a Paypal button on my website. Followed the instructions to the letter – and a second attempt it seems to be working. Though the first time I feel like I did pretty much the same thing.

Techno-stress is just the worst!